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A lesson in rewriting emergency alerts

Since we just published our take on how to write emergency alerts, we thought we could use an alert we just got from NYAlerts to suggest ways to improve your alert writing skills.

Below are three versions of the alert: (1) the original text; (2) our re-write, using the format provided by the alert, since it appears to be pre-formatted to those 6 elements: headline, description, locations, timing, impacts and instructions, and (3) our re-write, using the guidelines from Professor Mileti.

The amount of detail you want to include and what description will be most helpful are obviously judgment calls and local knowledge is key.  But we like our versions better for a few reasons:

  1. Less ambiguity. What is “early this evening?”  If 8PM is clear, why not stick with that?  What’s the difference between a “dangerous area” and any other structure?  Isn’t the issue here that any structure is a risk because a wave can cause a swimmer to collide with it?
  2. Less formal language. Why a “Beach Hazards Statement” instead of just “Hazardous Beach Conditions?” In fact, with a little more time, we might try to simplify that phrase.  How about “Unsafe Beaches?”
  3. Active, rather than passive verbs.  You learned this in school.  “Remains in effect” is passive.  Actually, we just took out the verb in the 2nd re-write.
  4. Shorter. On a word count basis, we saved 10 words, which is more than 10%.  It’s just easier to read.

 

Actual Alert

* HEADLINE: Beach Hazards Statement issued June 14 at 10:30AM EDT until June 14 at 8:00PM EDT by NWS Buffalo

* DESCRIPTION: …BEACH HAZARDS STATEMENT REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 PM EDT THIS EVENING…

* LOCATIONS…Beaches of Niagara, Orleans, Monroe, and Wayne counties.

* TIMING…Through early this evening.

* IMPACTS…Strong currents and dangerous swimming conditions.

INSTRUCTIONS: A Beach Hazards Statement is issued when there is a high swim risk. This means life threatening waves and currents are expected. Stay out of the water and stay away from dangerous areas like piers and breakwalls.

1st Re-Write

* HEADLINE: NWS Buffalo: Hazardous Beach Conditions from June 14 at 10:30AM EDT until June 14 at 8:00PM EDT

* DESCRIPTION: …HAZARDOUS BEACH CONDITIONS ARE IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 PM EDT THIS EVENING…

* IMPACTS…High risk of drowning. Life threatening waves and currents expected.

* LOCATIONS…Lake Ontario Beaches of Niagara, Orleans, Monroe, and Wayne counties, NY. From Niagara-on-the-Lake to Fair Haven.

* INSTRUCTIONS: …Stay out of the water and away from piers, breakwalls and other structures near the water’s edge.

* TIMING…Through 8PM tonight.

 

2nd Re-Write

* HEADLINE: NWS Buffalo: Hazardous Beach Conditions, June 14 from 10:30AM until 8:00PM (EDT).

* SOURCE: NWS Buffalo

* HAZARD: …LIFE THREATENING BEACH CONDITIONS UNTIL 8 PM THIS EVENING…High risk of drowning. Life threatening waves and currents expected.

* LOCATIONS…The southern shore of Lake Ontario including Niagara, Orleans, Monroe, and Wayne counties, NY. From Niagara-on-the-Lake to Fair Haven.

* GUIDANCE: …Stay out of the water and away from piers, breakwalls and other structures near the water’s edge. Do not swim.

* EXPIRATION…Through 8PM tonight.

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Plan Ahead: Emergency Message Templates

In our recent post – “Best Practices in Emergency Notification: Severe Weather Alerts” – we talked a little about how to structure an emergency notification message. We’d like to expand on this topic.

According to Dr. Dennis Mileti, Professor Emeritus and former Director of the Natural Hazards Center at the University of Colorado Boulder, a successful warning message should include these five components (https://www.fema.gov/media-library/assets/videos/159069):

  • Source: who the message is from;
  • Hazard: the threat and its impacts;
  • Location: the impact area boundaries described in a way that can be easily understood (for example: street names, landmarks, natural features and political boundaries);
  • Guidance (Protective Action)/Time: what protective action to take, when to do it, how to do it, and how doing it reduces impacts;
  • Expiration time: when the alert/warning expires and/or new information will be received.

Through our emergency notification experience, we’ve discovered that message style is also very important. A successful notification message should:

  • be brief but impactful: simple and straight to the point.
  • use simple language: avoid jargon and technical language. It must be easy to understand for all residents of your community regardless of their age and occupation.
  • include a picture and/or a source for more details or updates.

In contrast, sending out an inappropriate message could cause results that are completely opposite to what you intended.  Instead of helping people to avoid/escape an emergency, a badly worded message may create unnecessary panic or inaction.

To help insure a good message structure, it’s useful to have some ready templates that you can use as a starting point when writing a warning message. Which is why Hyper-Reach offers the ability to create saved message templates, and is improving that capability. Templates can not only save you time but also will serve as a good quality control practice, avoiding inconsistencies and mistakes.

Although current IPAWS/WEA messages are limited to 90 characters, it’s still possible to cover the most important information with IPAWS/WEA and supplement with other messaging methods. So if you have a modern Emergency Notification system such as Hyper-Reach in place, you can send out not only 90-character WEA messages but also more detailed text messages, emails, Facebook and Twitter posts.

Recent changes to FCC rules for WEA are also helpful.  For one, you can now include a URL in a WEA message, which allows for a link to a page with much more detail.  And the FCC has changed the rules about WEA message length – although they won’t take effect until next year – increasing to 360 characters.

Summarizing our recommendations above, we’ve prepared some efficient templates for 90-character WEA messages and 160-character SMS messages that you can use and model your own messages on.  You can download them here.

If you have other types of messages you’d like us to template, please let us know.  You can send your suggestions to jveilleux@ashergroup.com.